A and his mother G, then found me

I don’t want to go into how exactly they found me, it’s a long and boring story, in many ways it was my own fault, they laid out the most elaborate trap, and I blindly wandered straight into it.

I never got along with my family, and after leaving home at 17 to run away to singapore to work in the oil industry, I never really had any friends either, so after a very freakish accident I damaged both my legs, a disease called chondromalacia patallae, i was stuck at home on crutches or in a wheelchair for 9 months, and I discovered the internet.

This was almost 10 years ago, there wasn’t an awfal lot to do online and my geek side came out and i joined several star trek and Buffy the vampire slayer sites, role playing games in chatrooms and msn chat rooms dedicated to geeks and bored housewives.

I was very chatty, in these rooms and caught the attention of A, he followed me from chat room to chatroom for months, 6 months exactly according to the FBI, i’d never made any secret of the fact that I wasn’t very close to my family, and that I was pretty lonely living isolated in singapore, with a workaholic husband. This was when A decided I wouldn’t be interested in a man , so in comes his mother ‘G’, they gave her a whole new persona, something they knew i’d like, she was motherly, kind, very easy to talk too. Over the next few months she convinced me that my husband was having an affair.
I had my doubts, but they piled the proof on, fake amex bills, addressed to his office address, dates he’s seen escorts in LA when i’d thought he was in Brazil, dozens of little things that piled up and got on top of me.

In case I didn’t mention it before A was a licenced private investigator, i’d even checked him out, so when G begged me to come see her and see for myself this pile of ‘evidence’ she had I gave in and, the next time my husband had a big trip away i went to Texas to meet her. I booked into my hotel and the next day i met her at a little bar across the street, I even remember the name, it was called hulios and it was famous for it’s margaritas. I met G, she was lovely, the perfect motherly type, then she introduced me to her son A, a weird looking man of about 50, bald head, beard, tough looking lunatic, but i pushed him aside and concentrated on G, i looked through all the papework, matched up dates from a diary brought from home, Checked credit card bills for credit cards we didn’t have, all addressed to my husbands head office and therefore never seen by me. Stupidly i was convinced, I left the bar, threw up all over A’s cowboy boots, and somehow managed to get back to the hotel and cried all day.

After that it was easy, i again waited for a long business trip, and I packed up my personal things only, and had them shipped to my sisters house, i then bought 3 plane tickets and flew home to scotland. Lawyers wouldn’t represent me because i’d been out of the country so long, i wasa no longer considered a citizen, I had no employable skills as such, no assets, no property in my name, nothing actually, except what i was wearing. My parents wouldn’t let me stay, as hubby paid their rent, my sister wouldn’t let me stay as my husband owned her house. 3 days after landing in the UK, I flew to Texas, to G, my lovely friend who invited me to stay with her while i considered my options. G met me at the airport, drove me to her ramshackle old ranch 75 miles north of Fort Worth, only one room was decorated, a room for my kids, toys, nice furniture, games, bikes everything. My room had a bed with handcuffs chained to the wall.

Within minutes G had moved out (she looked after my children, while mummy was sick) and A moved in.

It was 6th of December 2003

Then A moved in, and G moved out,

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Rape comes in many forms

Rape comes in many different guises, for me, the freakish side was what stopped me from pressing charges. A decision I deeply regret to this day. We got him, and his creepy mother (lover, accomplice, sister, whatever she was) on financial crimes. At that point, the States was not interested in rape, all they wanted was terrorists. A british woman being tortured and raped didn’t cut it.

No rape is ever normal, and I apologise to anyone who thinks what I am about to say is within the relms of normal, to me it isn’t.

You see the man and woman who conned me into going over to texas to see paperwork proving my husbands infidelity, had been stalking me online for 6 months finding out what i would respond to, hence the mother, they knew i had no real family conections, I was lonely and in a marriage that was falling apart, perfect target for a couple of con artists. We later found out from the FBI that they had been stalking me thru chatrooms for over 6 month to see what kind of thing I talked about.

To get to the weird part, the ‘man’ who took me was 5ft 8 or 9, 50 years old, bald with a beard, he was a licenced process server (bounty hunter), and he rode bulls in the forth worth rodeo.
He had been married twice one to a lady called Angela, she died under mysterious circumstances of a cocain overdose,and her body was dragged across a car park and left in a buick in an abandoned car park. Her adult daughter and son in law also died, their bodies were never found.

He married a second time, to a lady who worked within the legal system, they were married for 5 years, she came home unexpected one day and he was in the shower, but he wasn’t a he, he was a she, sort of. Born a haemaphrodie, the parents decided to raise it as a girl, but at 21m he cut off his own breasts to become more manly, he never had the money to complete the sex change, he changed his name to ‘A’ ans started to live as a man, in a small rural town in backwards texas this wasn’t really noticed, he was just another redneck fuckwit. After the second wife found him she had her brothers throw him out, but she wouldn’t press charges because she didn’t want everyone to know she’d been married to a woman for 5 years and didn’t know it. I can’t blame her. He was a master of deception.

All the time that this was going on his big brother J died from a mysterious fall from a horse, he hit his face on a rock and was identified by dental records. A short time after this, his father, a war hero, also died under strange circumstances, the brakes on his car failed. This left A and his mother alone to do whatever it was that they did.

And then they found me..

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The bites and burns ?

Sometimes now i look down and i see the small faint marks, some gone silvery, and just a little raised, I could almost forget how they got there.

Some nights when Geraldine didn’t give me the injection from the brown bottle, ( turns out it was vetrinary grade ketamine)

He used to keep a bucket of bugs in the room, now and again, just for fun he’d pick one up with some tongues, squirt it with lighter fluid, set it on fire then drop it onto my naked body, then he’d fall about laughing while i screamed and tried to buck the things off me, the louder i screamed he the more he laughed. Tarantula’s, scorpions, roaches, whatever he found.

Every day I wonder how i didn’t manage to get hold of something and set fire to him, then the sensible side of my head kicked in and i remembered all i had to do was stay alive long enough to get my kids out and back to their father.

At this point all i really wanted, was to die

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Best place to start is the beginning


Lots of my time there in Texas is a blurr, in a way thats a blessing, I would get to kiss my babies goodnight, and they’d go to bed where ”aunt gerry” would read them stories and give them snacks, before taking them to school in the morning,

I’d be in the other room with ‘him’ usually curled on the bed crying, while he just stomped around calling me names and demanding to know where kevin’s money was, I gave up the bank codes almost immediately, they transfered half a million dollars, but they’d seemed to decide this was fun, so they kept me.

Geraldine would come in a bit later and she’d sit on the bed and be nice to me, and altough i hated her, it’s sick but i was so relieved to hear someone say something nice to me. She’d say she was able to help me get some sleep, she’d bring this little brown bottle out of her pocket, it had a silver lid, she used a syringe to draw some out and before i had change to scream or move she’d jabbed me in the thigh with it, then she’ll lean in and whisper things to me.

I’d wake up, I don’t know when, often naked, always terrified, always alone. I’d be covered in marks, some that I recognised and some that hurt but i had no idea of where they came from. Small burns, cuts and bites. He’d give me a few pills and tell me to go to sleep.

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Inside my mind

Today I was sitting thinking, i have just been diagnosed with Barrett’s Disease in it’s worst form, my esophagus has actually snapped.  I don’t know about you, but i have never even heard of anything like that.  This goes in conjunction with antran gastritis, an autoimune disease of the stomach, so my throats snapped, and my stomach can’t accept normal food. 

I’m sad, of course i am sad, but that take up a small part of me, there is a massive part of me thats absolutely furious.  Because this is when the memories start coming back.


you know, you never hear of anyone snapping their esophagus, so one of the first things into my head was, did this happen to me because I was strangled, did he weaken it? no one ever gives me a straight answer. 

lets go back 9 years, I was ‘taken’ by a man in his 50’s and his mother in her 70’s, I thought i was close to the mother, but all her attentions had been to the one end, To get me and my 2 children, away from my husband and cut off from the rest of the world.  I’m ashamed to to say I was easy to ‘groom’.  At that time we were having problems and these two people, Ardy (the 50+) son and the (70+) mother, we’re just waitingfor the right time,  The set a trap and I walked straight into it,  then i spent the next 3 months chianed to a wall in a ranch out in the boonies, 75 miles north of fort Worth.  

Luckily gerry (the mother of the nutter) had a room set up for the kids,all tv and games and toys, my room was different. a bed, handcuffed to the wall,  i was allowed some movement, and the evening, I was even allowed to sit in a lounge with crazy Ardy and crazy Gerry and my boys on my lap, only thing was Ardy had a gun pointed at us the whole time.  but they were safe as long s i did s i was told.

i should have done something, i don’t know what, but there has to have been something that I could have done.  We were in a very isolated area, no cell phone coverage, not that i had a phone anyway.  Ardy had a phone, but the base until was in the room where i was kept, he had the handset with him all the time.

The numbers written on the phone were are for judge————, sherrif———– officer———– even if i could have got the phone i would have been scared to go to the police i’l long since been convinced that Ardy was very good friends with the local cops, he’d always said that if Kevin came looking for me he’d have one of his ‘buddies’ plant drugs on kevin and he’d go to jail, in the one phone call i was allowed, with a shotgun at my head, i was forced to tell kevin i’d left him and hang up.

That night was the start..

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Ramblings inside my mind

First off, i’ll warn you that, this is my blog, mostly it won’t make sense, it won’t follow a time line, i’m just going to use this as a place to vent my frustrations on whats happened in my past. 

Some parts will be distressing, some i’ll have to stop half way through.  I’ve never written this stuff down before but i thought i’d give it a try.

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